| 'Twas
the Nocturnal Segment of the Diurnal Period 'Twas
the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual yuletide celebration.
And throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among
the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known
as mus musclus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge
of the wood-burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding
an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric
appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas.
The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations
of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated
fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums. My conjugal partner
and I, attired in our nocturnal head coverings, were about to take slumberous
advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of
the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled
to arise with alactrity from my place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining
the precise source thereof.
Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing this fenestration,
noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance without, reflected as it was on the
surface of a recent crystalline precipitation, might be said to rival that of
the solar meridan itself; thus permitting my incredulous optical sensory organs
to behold a miniature airborne runnered conveyance drawn by eight diminutive specimens
of the genus rangifer. Piloted by a minuscule aged chauffeur so ebullient
and nimble that it became instantly apparent to me that he was indeed our anticipated
caller. With his ungulate motive power traveling at what may have been more vertiginous
velocity than patriotic alar predators, he vociferated loudly, expelled breath
musically through contracted labia, and addressed each of the octet by his or
her respected cognomen: now Dasher, now Dancer, et al. Guiding them to the uppermost
exterior level of our abode, through which structure I could readily distinguish
the concatenations of each of the 32 cloven pedal extremities.
As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was performing a 180-degree
pivot, our distinguished visitant achieved--with utmost celerity and via a downward
leap--entry by way of the smoke passage. He was clad entirely in animal pelts
soiled by the ebon residue from oxidations of carboniferous fuels which had accumulated
on the walls thereof. His resemblance to a street vendor I attributed largely
to the plethora of assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in a commodious
cloth receptacle. His
orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his submaxillary dermal
indentations gave every evidence of engaging amiability. The capillaries of his
molar regions and nasal appurtenance were engorged with blood which suffused the
subcutaneous layers, the former approximating the coloration of albion's floral
emblem, the latter that of the prunus avium, or sweet cherry. His amusing
sub- and supralabials resembled nothing so much as a common loop knot, and their
ambient hirsute facial adornment appeared like small, tabular and columnar crystals
of frozen water. Clenched
firmly between his incisors was a smoking piece whose gray fumes, forming a tenuous
ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive of a decorative seasonal circlet of
holly. His visage was wider than it was high, and when he waxed audibly mirthful,
his corpulent abdominal region undulated in the manner of impectinated fruit syrup
in a hemispherical container. He was, in short, neither more nor less than an
obese, jocund, multigenarian gnome, the optical perception of whom rendered me
visibly frolicsome despite every effort to refrain from so being. By rapidly lowering
and then elevating one eyelid and rotating his head slightly to one side he indicated
that trepidation on my part was groundless.
Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the aforementioned hosiery
with various of the aforementioned articles of merchandise extracted from his
aforementioned previously dorsally transported cloth receptacle. Upon completion
of his task, he executed an abrupt about-face, placed a singular manual digit
in lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory organ, inclined his cranium forward
in a gesture of leave taking, and forthwith effected his egress by renegotiating
(in reverse) the smoke passage. He then propelled himself in a short vector onto
his conveyance, directed a musical expulsion of air through his contracted oral
sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds among the seed-bearing portions of a common
weed. But I overheard his parting exclamation, audible immediately prior to his
vehiculation beyond the limits of visibility:
Ecstatic yuletide to the planetary constituency, and to that selfsame assemblage,
my sincerest wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly pleasurable
period between sunset and dawn. From:
http://www.textfiles.com/holiday/night.hum
(with corrections) |